Choice 4: 1 John 1-3. That Ye May Have Fellowship with Us and with God

Paul desires for the people to become members of the Church and come unto God and Jesus Christ. He says that their joy will become full once they fellowships with God and Christ.
Our joy can become full when:

• We confess our sins
• Keep his commandments
• We love our brother (love one another)
  
• We do not love the things of the world
• We have the Holy Ghost with us
• We allow the atonement to work in our lives

Keeping his commandments is a principle that I can better implement in my life. Sometimes I may justify why I don't always follow certain commandments. But if I can remember all of the commandments I have committed to keep, then I know that I will try my best to keep all of them.

Choice 2 James 2: Faith Without Works is Dead

James explains that even if we don't commit one sin, but we do commit another, we are still sinful in the eyes of God. That means that even if we have faith, but we commit sin, then we are still sinful. James gives the example of Abraham and Isaac--Abraham showed his faith in God by offering his son up as a sacrifice. If a prophet had to do something so drastic like that, then should we not also show our faith by our works? Abraham surely had faith, but God asked him to show his faith--this illustrates how important it is that without works, our faith is dead in the sight of God. Looking at Romans 2:5-6, Paul also supports what James is saying.
Not every person will enter the kingdom of God. We are asked to do his will just like the Savior did and the prophets. They did his will and will inherit the kingdom of God. We must also do his will in order to be entitled to the same thing.

Choice Three: Hebrews 13. Works of Righteousness

We should treat strangers and those in bonds with empathy and sympathy.
Marriage is looked upon with honor.
Some warnings about covetousness are to avoid it in conversation and to be happy with the things that we have.
Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
We are sanctified through Jesus Christ.
To those who rule over us we should submit ourselves.
Paul asked the people to pray for those in the church.

Choice 5 Hebrews 1-2. Jesus is Greater Than Angels

1. Christ is superior to the angels. They are servants while he is the Son of God. Jesus is also greater than Moses. If some people could not enter the promised land because they would not follow the words of Moses, then certainly the words of Christ are more important if we want to enter the Celestial Kingdom. Jesus is also a high priest of Melchizedek, who is superior to Aaron.
2. Three truths that Paul taught about the Savior:

1. Jesus is the heir of all things
2. Jesus made the worlds
3. Jesus is higher than the angels

3. Jesus came to earth to experience mortality so that he could suffer for our sins and die for us. This provides a way back to our Heavenly Father: we are able to repent and be resurrected to meet with the Father again. He also provides us mercy. Christ also needed to be able to understand us by suffering our troubles and infirmities.

Choice 1: Philippians 1-4. Find Solutions to Life's Challenges

When we argue or complain over matters in the church, we should take the counsel of the Philippians. We should remember that we need to be of one heart and one mind. We must remember Christ in all of our doings and remember how he would act.
Youth should not always rely on their parents' testimonies. They need to work out their own salvation. We should have a testimony because of our love of God and willingness to keep his commandments.
Sometimes we must sacrifice certain things in order to be a member of the church. This may include losing the approval of our families. We must remember that what we lose we will find in Christ. It will be extremely hard to part with our family, but if we follow Christ, we will be blessed.
This assignment tells us to feast upon the words of Christ and they will be able to tell us what we should do.

Choice 1: Romans 12-16. Live as Saints should Live

1. Salvation is nearer. We must be righteous and keep the commandments in order to receive salvation. We must also endure to the end and continually repent of our sins.
2. To help lead to salvation:

• Offer up ourselves to serve God
• Renew our minds not according to the world's standards
• Do not love deceitfully, stay away from evil and cling unto good
• Be hospitable
• Strive to understand and empathize with others
• Use good to overcome evil
• Recognize that all power comes from God
• Do good things
• Love one another
• Keep the commandments

3. We should not judge others who are not under our stewardship because it is not our place. Their master or their leader has that responsibility, and ultimately, God has the final say on judgment. We must remember that God is our final judge and to not worry about the judgments of men (the world). D&C 38:25-27 gives more clarification: it does not matter if a person is rich or poor, we should still treat them as our brother. We are to become one if we desire to enter into the kingdom of God.
4. Paul frequently refers to the members of the church today as "saints".

Choice 1: Romans 1. The Gospel of Christ is the Power of God Unto Salvation

Christ is the son of David through his "father", Joseph's line. I found this intriguing because Christ is not blood-related to Joseph, but it is possible that Mary and Joseph were closely related. So, technically, he could be a descent of David. Christ is the son of God because he was conceived by Mary and Heavenly Father. In being the heirs to both to the king (David) and to God, Christ can rightfully reign because he is ruler of all men in a religious sense and a ruler of a powerful nation in a literal sense.
It was essential for Christ to be both mortal and immortal. He needed to be able to die for our sins or else the atonement could not be complete. However, he needed the power of immortality in order to suffer for our sins in the Garden--no mortal could have ever done that. Also, the atonement needed to be a willing sacrifice. No one could take away the Savior's life except for himself. He being willing to give up his life is the ultimate sacrifice.

Choice 2: 2 Cornithians 2:1-11. Forgiveness

"If any have caused grief", the people of Corinth were commanded to forgive and comfort each other.
We receive many blessings when we forgive others. Our Heavenly Father will then forgive us as well.
If we do not forgive others, Heavenly Father may not forgive us. Also, if we do not forgive others, we may be consumed with sorrow or become more susceptible to the temptations of Satan.
I am glad that we are able to forgive each other. I know that for me, it can get a little tiresome to hold a grudge. Once I forgive, it definitely takes something off of my shoulders.

Choice 5: 1 Corinthians 10. How Christ Helps Us Overcome Sin

Jesus Christ is like a rock in many ways. He is the stone of Israel, the rock of our salvation, the rock of God, the rock of strength, a spiritual rock, the rock of our Redeemer, and the rock of Heaven. It is so important that Jesus is our rock in all things, especially when it comes to sin. Some sins that Paul talked about are lusting after evil things, idolatry, fornication, murmuring, and tempting others. Some sins today that I think of are lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, swearing, addiction, and many many others. The promise that verse thirteen gives is so reassuring when you think of all the sins that have been committed and that are still tempting us. From this verse we know that we can overcome our temptations and that God has provided a way to overcome it and escape it.

Paul described Christ as a rock in these versus, because the only way to overcome sin is by and through the atonement of Jesus Christ. If we do not look toward our Savior for a way out, then there is no other way out of temptation and sin. Reading Alma 13:38 was very enlightening concerning 1 Corinthians 10:13. In Alma it specifies the certain qualities we need to have in order to overcome our temptations--Christ's atonement isn't enough. We need to be actively working towards becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love, and all long-suffering. We must also pray continually and look continually for the hand of the Lord in our lives.

Choice 1 Acts 19-20. Proper Authority and Ministering to the People

The five priesthood ordinances that Paul performed were:
1) Baptism
2) Gift of the Holy
3) Sacrament
4) Raising the dead
5) Blessing the sick and casting out evil spirits
1. Paul baptized them and gave them the gift of the Holy Ghost because these ordinances had not been performed correctly before.
2. Concerning nonmembers who may have been baptized as infants, if you are not baptized according to the correct power, authority, and in the correct way, then it is not a correct ordinance and God does not recognize it as being correct.
3. Paul bestowed the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands.
4. The saints met on the first day of the week to break bread. According to John 20:1, this is because Jesus was resurrected on the first day of the week. The sacrament represents the completion of his sacrifice, and so this is why it is also done on the first day of the week. This is very interesting to me--I had never looked into why we partook of the sacrament on Sunday, the first day of the week. How cool!

Choice 2: Acts 16; 18. Pauls' Second Mission

During Paul's second missionary journey, he visited Phrygia, Galatia, Troas, and Macedonia.
The Holy Ghost directed Paul throughout his journey. The Spirit prompted him to no longer remain in Asia. He was then going to go to Mysia and Bithynia, but the Spirit again prompted him not to. When Paul got to Troas, he then received a vision of where he was supposed to go next. A man of Macedonia was in his vision, and said to him, "Come over into Macedonia, and help us". Paul also went to Corinth, where the Holy Ghost prompted him to continue preaching the gospel.
The Spirit has directed my missionary efforts by leading me to people that I became friends with, and then I was able to introduce them to the gospel. My friends have often times turned to me when they were experiencing trials, and I have been able to help them through the principles of the gospel. Now that I am up at a church school, I don't have as many nonmember friends. But I know that after I graduate there will be plenty of people I will come into contact with that I could befriend and then introduce to the gospel. I could be more directed by the Spirit by asking the Lord who I could serve and help in order to bring about His Kingdom.
Paul was able to preach the gospel so effectively because he was in tune with the Spirit. He had no other agenda except to follow the Lord's will and preach His gospel. Being led by the Spirit, he was able to do exactly this.
Paul let his experiences turn into missionary experiences. When he was imprisoned, he still prayed and sang hymns of praise to God and all of the other prisoners could hear. Because of his example, the prison keeper sought after him, asking what he should do to become saved, and was later baptized. From Paul's missionary experiences, I learned that even when things are not going your way, you can still be an example to others and lead them to the gospel.
The jailer is an example of a true convert because he was touched by the Holy Ghost after listening to Paul sing and pray, and desired to know how to be saved. He was baptized in that same hour.
Even though we do not understand everything about God and the gospel, the principles needed to gain salvation are simple and true. We need to repent and become baptized and have faith in the things that are true of the gospel.
I can follow the example of Paul to become a better missionary. I can seek the Holy Ghost and increase my faith, and I know that I will be able to be a better instrument in the Lord's hands.

Choice 4: Acts 7. The Matryrdom of Stephen

1. Stephen was trying to call the people to repentance. But they would not listen. And even as they stoned him, he asked God not to put the blame on the people for their actions. I am amazed at his faith in God and his forgiveness concerning the people. I don't know if I would be able to do the same as him. I think I would have some resentment toward the people that killed me.
From these versus, we learn that Jesus Christ and God are two separate beings, and that Stephen was filled with the Holy Ghost; so all three were distinctly present. Christ was specifically on the right-hand side of God, so this proves that the three beings are not the same person.
2. After reading Mosiah 17: 7-20, I see some similarities between Stephen and Abinadi. Both were innocent and did not deserve to die. They were only trying to bring their people unto repentance so that they would not suffer a horrible fate. Both also would not stop proclaiming the word of God. They knew that what they were doing was right, even if it meant that they had to suffer and die because of it. Their final testimonies cause me to seriously reflect how strong my own testimony is and if I would stand by the Lord even in the face of torture and death. I hope that all of us can say, yes, I will suffer all, even death, for the Lord and his kingdom.

Divorce

Divorce Rates
The rate of divorce has increased significantly, especially from the 1960's (9.2 married women 15 years and older per 1,000 in 1960) to the 1980's (22.6 married women 15 years and older per 1,000 in 1980). Even though the rate of divorce today isn't as quite as high it was in the 70's and 80's, it is still prevalent (17.9 married women 15 years and older per 1,000 in 2004).
Causes of Divorce
There are various reasons why married couples seek for a divorce. Some are due to sociodemographic factors: like socioeconomic status, age at marriage, race, and others. Interpersonal factors also can play a role: infidelity, communication problems, lack of emotional support, emotional and/or physical abuse, falling out of love or growing apart, unsatisfactory sex, financial problems, constant conflict, and many others.
After the Divorce--Now What?
This part intrigued me the most. You always hear about what a struggle it is to go through with a divorce, but you never dare ask those who have been divorced what life is like afterward. You just imagine that it must be pretty awful. In a lot of cases, it is pretty awful. 70% of people two years after they have divorced think that they made a mistake. They think that they could have really made the marriage work. That type of regret and retrospect must be overwhelming and frankly depressing. However, there are some people who get remarried after a divorce. It is advised to wait six months after the divorce has gone through before you date again. This is because you need time to regroup after the emotional rollercoaster you have been on, and if you just jump to another person right after, you're probably only using them as a distraction from the pain that usually follows a divorce.
Remarriages can also be the hardest because you are trying to blend families, and this is very difficult. It will take at least 2 years in a blended family for things to feel normal.

Recognizing the Need Over the Misbehavior

What We Usually Do
When a child misbehaves, or even an adult, how do we react? My friend has a roommate who often feels that her roommates do not care about her. This roommate will sometimes react negatively and call her roommates names and make accusations against them. My friend and the other roommates often retreat and don't want anything to do with this certain roommate. From an outsider's perspective, this type of reaction could encourage the attention-seeking roommate.
What We Should Do
Bad behavior should not just simply be punished. Bad behavior is often the result of a need being unfulfilled. That need should be recognized before any sort of action is taken. With the example of the temper-tantrum roommate, my friend and the other roommates should take time to ponder why their roommate is acting is such a way and what needs this roommate may have. There are different steps to take instead of just punishing bad behavior.

Setting a Budget

Setting a Budget
I have never really had a budget. I always just knew not to spend more than I had, and so I never worried past that. However, as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that I could have saved a lot of my money that I just spent frivolously on things I didn't really need at the time.
Why Set a Budget?
Someone like me often asks, Why should I set a budget? How can it help me? Well, setting a budget can:

• Help you track your money better
• Help you save money
• Prepare you for times when your money is tight
• Make you feel more in control of your spending habits
• Help you see the difference between your needs and your wants

Communication

Different Types of Communication
The three different types of communication are:
1) Words
2) Tone
3) Nonverbal
There is a great quote in the movie Hitch: "60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth."
I think that this greatly shows how the different types of communication influence interpretation. It also illustrates how easily misinterpretations can arise. Even words, the "10%" of communication, can have different meanings for different people. And even when you are using the "correct" words, if your tone or body language "betrays you", then the interpretation of what you are saying could bring about vastly different meanings.
How to Overcome Miscommunication
1) Make sure you have the person's attention. If either of you are distracted, then it will be harder to communicate and get your message across.
2) Think before you speak. This is easier said than done. But it's important to remind yourself of who you are speaking to, what your goal is to communicate, and what words may be misinterpreted.
3) Don't assume. Unless you say something, you usually cannot be entirely sure the other person knows what you're thinking, feeling, or whatever. Even after you are done speaking, you still can't assume that they got the full gist of your thoughts.
4) Be clear. Keep the message as simple as possible. Don't ramble or go on to a lot of extra details. You'll end up losing the person if you talk on and on and on on a tangent.
5) Listen. This is a key step. Communication is not a one-sided thing. It needs to involve more than one person, and once you are done speaking, you need to now give your full attention to the other person and make sure that they got what you were saying.

Stress

Stress is something that affects every person, every group, every nation, and especially every family.
Variety of Forms
Stress comes in many different ways. Stress can come because of poor decisions we've made and the consequences are unwanted. Stress can come because of what other people have done, like a child running away from home. Stress can also be a result of circumstances that are just out of our control, like a death or illness.
Coping with Stress
Some ways of coping with stress are healthy and others not so much. Unhealthy ways include ignoring the stress or the problem causing stress, turning to drugs or alcohol, or pushing away concerned friends/family. Healthy ways are seeking help from friends/family/a therapist, using relaxation techniques, or exercising.
Seeing the Opportunity
Most of us dread having to deal with situations that bring about stress. However, the things that try us the most often bring us closer to our family or friends and cause us to value the things that matter most in life. When we endure a hardship, it opens our eyes to new perspectives and outlooks.

Infidelity

Fidelity
Once you commit to marriage, you also commit to several other things, one of them being fidelity. However, the breaking of this commitment is one of the most publicized and well-known acts. It seems that you cannot go anywhere without hearing or reading about how so-and-so cheated on so-and-so. Infidelity is so common-place that many marriages start out with the plan that their marriage won't last at all.
Causes of Infidelity
Obviously you don't wake up one morning and decide to cheat on your spouse. Like with anything bad or evil, it starts gradual. It could be a friend or a coworker, or just about anyone it seems. First you just start talking, and then talking turns into meeting up with them and having lunch, and then lunch turns into more phone calls, and more ways to meet up, and then you start telling this person about your hopes and dreams, and then you start comparing them to your spouse, and soon you've placed yourself in a compromising situation where you feel uncomfortable sharing this all with your spouse because you know how it looks, and it looks and is wrong.
Boundaries to Help Prevent Infidelity
The only sure-way to prevent infidelity is to set boundaries with your spouse. Should you ever be alone with a member of the opposite sex? Should you seek out to talk to friends of the opposite sex? What about friends of the same gender? Coworkers? Church friends and leaders? What will you do when you are placed in a compromising situation? Spouses need to talk with each other consistently to make sure that their marriage is being protected and remains secure.

First Year of Marriage/First Child Born

I briefly discussed what I learned in class with my family over the weekend. My boyfriend had some interesting insights that I felt would be beneficial to share:
"One trouble that newlywed couples run into occurs at the birth of their first child. The family dynamics radically change. What was once a single bilateral relationship, becomes three independent relationships. One of the problems that occur with the development of these relationships is due to the inherently close relationship of the mother-child relationship. The husband and father can begin to view this relationship with jealousy because that relationship is often built by neglecting the two relationships that he is a part of. There are several ways to avoid marginalizing the husband in the family when the first child is born.
"Your mother (he was referring to my mother) made it sound very simple, 'You feed them, and he changes their diaper, and there you both have a relationship with the child.' While this answer is simple, it gets to a fundamentally strong suggestion, by allowing the father to help with daily regular chores with the child he can begin to develop a relationship with the child, and by giving his wife the time away from the child to recoup, she can spend additional time and is inspired to preserve her relationship with her husband."

Love

What is love?
It is a question that has drawn much attention and debate over many centuries. Even today, people think that love means different things. Is there a right love and a wrong love? Are all loves the same? Are there different types of love? Can love last forever, or is it fleeting and temporary?
Love Leading into Marriage
When most people in western cultures think of love, they think of passion and the romance behind love. However, in eastern cultures like India, love is thought more of a commitment and sacrifice for the well-being of one's partner and family. Their marriages last much longer than the average two-year marriage of Americans. What do people in India have over Americans then? I think that most people in the U.S. get married with the idea that their marriage won't last--they lack true commitment. Then why even bother getting married? If people got married actually planning on never divorcing or giving up on their marriages, there would be a lot less broken families and unhappy children. Unfortunately, individualism is valued above all in the U.S., so until that changes, there won't be a decrease in the divorce rate anytime soon.

Gender

An Eternal Characteristic
The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about gender is what The Family: A Proclamation to the World says: Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. The differences in gender are eternal, and when something is eternal, it is a truth. The divine attributes that each sex has are not merely a result of societal influences, but they reside much deeper within us.
Each Story is Different
When it comes to the hot topic of homosexuality, it seems that there are multiple stories that prove or disprove the claim that homosexuals are "born that way". I too have a story about a friend of mine. I met him in the 5th grade, and then we continued to be friends throughout middle school and high school. From a young age he was concerned about things that most males his age weren't: fashion, his handwriting, expressing himself creatively, and other "female typical traits". During middle school he was constantly told that he should be gay, even though he had crushes on girls. He was attracted to women; he told me this himself. We then entered into high school together, and the high school we attended was a preforming arts school, and known for more of its student population having homosexuals than other schools. It was our freshman year that he told me and his other friends and family that he was gay. Was it all just a self-fulfilling prophecy? Was it the pressure to be gay that caused him to feel that he had to be attracted to men? Did he lie to me that at one point he was attracted to women? I'll never know. I lost touch with him after high school. All I know is that you can't blanket statement why one person is homosexual or not. Each person is different and goes through different life experiences, even if they may show the same temperament or personality.

Families Pass on More than Just Genetics

Genograms
Learning about genograms was highly interesting to me. I have never heard of a genogram before, nor did I know that you could illustrate the personal relationships that occurred. Creating a genogram causes you to ponder what patterns exist in your family. Lack of control over anger has been something that I see being passed on throughout the generations of my family. My mom's grandpa had alcohol problems and anger problems. Her dad (my grandpa) also expressed anger in an explosive way, but the alcoholism problem did not persist. However, my uncles (my mom's brothers) made a conscious effort to not be like their dad and they do not have anger-controlling problems. Concerning the other side of my family, my dad struggles with controlling his temper, and I've seen the same behavior occur in all of my siblings but me. I deal with anger more like my mom does--I just cry. :) But, I've made the decision not to marry someone with anger problems. It's interesting to see what behaviors we inherit from our family and how they aren't necessarily genetic, but more nurture than nature.

Family as a Whole

Looking for a Cause
Most of the time when family conflicts arise or just conflicts in general, people seek to identify who the bad guy is. Whose fault is it? Who do we blame? But in a family or in any relationship, it shouldn't be who caused what, it should be what pattern is occurring and how can it be resolved. Identifying the "perpetrator" does not really solve much. The battle of "I'm right and you're wrong" only ends in a tired struggle with the couple or family no closer to becoming functional and happy again.
Not Only the Individual
When trying to solve a problem within a family, you cannot only focus on the individuals directly affected, but the whole family. For example, if one member of the family is struggling with an eating disorder, you cannot only work with that individual to help them overcome the disorder. Especially if they are a young teen at home, the family needs to be involved to discourage the behaviors related to the disorder and to see if their opinions or behaviors are contributing to the disorder.

Parents' Responsibility Over Children

A comment was made on Friday asking how responsible we are for our children--namely the children we choose not to have. I found this to be very intriguing, and I had never thought about children in this way. The decline in birth rates has become a social trend, and is affecting our individual choices on the number of children we choose to have--or if we choose to have them at all. We tend to think that our choices don't affect others, but this is so very incorrect. Children that could have been born to good parents who love them and can provide for them are instead born into unstable families that cannot support their physical nor emotional needs. These children grow up, not properly raised, and become members of our society. They do not know how to contribute to society, and instead put a drain on society, sometimes living lives of crime, homelessness, and with an air of mistrust and defiance. Your choices are not just your own to make, especially when considering the life of another.

The Challenge to Become

This weekend I shared with some of my roommates what I learned from the article "The Challenge to Become" by Elder Oaks. I think that it is a very common idea for many members of the church to think of merely our choices and actions that determine our Final Judgment. Never before have I thought of it as who we become and not what we have done; and neither had my roommates. But again, it's a simple truth that rings true within me. It's common sense to suppose that the Lord won't ask us if we did 100% home teaching/visiting teaching, or if we were the Bishop/Relief Society President, or how many service projects we conducted. He cares about our end condition. Do we radiate with joy? Do we glow with the Spirit? Have we truly taken upon the name of our Savior Jesus Christ? Do we fully represent Him?
I read the article once more, and focused on the word exaltation versus salvation. Being in the world, we are surrounded by media, advertisements, and daily interactions with people who cause us to focus only on ourselves. What about me? Why me? Why aren't I happy? Why is this happening to me? While we may be "saved" if we focus purely on our endeavors, we won't have our family with us unless we are exalted. Exaltation requires being sealed for all time and eternity to our family. But that's just not it. We need to progress with them throughout this life, because that is what we will be doing in the next life: becoming. The family is key in this. No family, no exaltation. It's another plain and simple truth. We need to aid our family members in this. We help them the most in their development to become. Instead of criticizing our family members, we should uplift them and make positive suggestions that benefit the family as a whole. Together we can help each other on the road to become.